Managing Inappropriate Behavior
Many people are ✨shocked✨ to see that my dogs, Blitz and Ember, aren’t super dog-friendly. They’re a dog trainer’s dog, how can they be so mean????
“Mean” because they don’t run up to other dogs, mean because they aren’t dying to meet your dog, mean because they don’t tolerate inappropriate behavior, and so on…
To me, they’re an example of dogs who have healthy boundaries and relationships to others. Unfortunately, it seems to be the “norm” for a lot of dog owners to expect other dogs to tolerate all of their own dog’s behavior, even if it is bad/pushy/rude. If your child was being harassed by another child, or the one doing the harassing, would you tell them to tolerate it? Of course not; we would intervene and the same should be happening for our dogs.
Any inappropriate behavior (posturing, face-licking, jumping, excessive sniffing, going up and over onto another dog) or really any behavior that makes the receiving dog uncomfortable) should be interrupted or punished. This can happen in two ways:
1) We intervene - which is often the preferred method. If your puppy is face-licking your older dog and your older dog isn’t enjoying it, is trying to get away, etc, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to remove the puppy from the older dog. We should not except any dog to tolerate annoying behavior and we certainly don’t want to raise our puppies to believe they can continue this with other dogs. It is incredibly unsafe for the puppy as they grow up and just because a dog tolerates it now, doesn't mean they don't deserve to be advocated for.
Another example: if your male dog is excessively sniffing a female dog to the point she’s uncomfortable, you can interrupt or punish that with a “no,” a nick on the ecollar, recalling your male away from her, separating them, etc. It is your responsibility to manage your own dog when they are making another dog uncomfortable or causing them to tolerate a behavior they clearly don’t enjoy. When new dogs are meeting we try to keep the sniffing to the time it would take for a handshake (3-5 seconds) to keep it comfortable for everyone.
2) The other option is to allow the receiving dog to correct the inappropriate dog, but this is rarely efficient and should only happen under very strict circumstances. We never want to allow a dog we don’t know (especially an adult with a puppy) to correct our dog. There’s a good chance they won’t, which will teach tolerance, and there’s an equally good chance they will overcorrect, resulting in injury or fight, or create fear and other issues down the road for the puppy.
Dog trainers witness this situation a lot: a puppy is raised in a household where the older dogs are expected to tolerate bad/annoying behavior. Then when the puppy meets other dogs: it runs up to another dog and starts behavior that they’ve rehearsed with the tolerant dog, the new dog doesn’t tolerate it and corrects the dog or it starts a fight. Then we blame the dog correcting for being "aggressive" when really it was just standing up for itself. Similarly, tolerant dogs often have a breaking point and when they do stand up for themselves, are often punished for not remaining tolerant. This is incredibly unfair and only leads to one doing becoming increasingly uncomfortable and the other dog increasing the bad behavior. It also sets the puppy or new dog up for failure by not being accepted into the pack, which is an inate desire.
Ember is so efficient at correcting dogs in a way that is meaningful (not tolerant) without causing harm. I allow her to correct other dogs, especially young puppies who often learn best from this, in certain situations because she is always appropriate and fair. She never crosses the line, but sometimes other dogs don't take her seriously (partiuclarly bigger males who continue to harras her). In this case, I immediately intervene and correct the other dog for her so she doesn't feel the need to increase the correction. This has helped her remain calm and fair, because she is either effective or she knows and trusts that I will advoacte for her.
I would never, ever allow a dog I don’t know to correct one of my dogs or my client dogs, so it is MY responsibility to advocate for all dogs and intervene BEFORE it gets to that point. In the photo above, you can see Ember reminding Malli that face-licking is not acceptable and Malli is acting appropriately by stopping and giving her space. If Malli continued despite Ember's correction, I would then move to our other option of intervened by separating them, back tying Malli or putting her on leash so she cannot get to Ember, etc.
All dogs, young or old, tolerant or not, deserve to be advocated for in a way that allows them to feel safe, comfortable and enjoy the company of other dogs.
Part 2 of the Socialization Series will cover dogs greeting other dogs.
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